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Stop being a Christmas Superwoman

Hello - it is 2016 is it not? - so why am I hearing so many women saying they are overwhelmed and that the men in their lives are not sharing the additional work that this festive time of year brings?

Sorry, not sorry for sounding sexist -  oh but hang on, it can't be sexist when it's based upon facts can it?

Men think they do equal work at home, when facts show otherwise

The disconnect among men about how much they’re doing around the house may lay in the fact that women are much more likely to do mental work Source 

Ah ha "mental work" ...

I was chatting with a friend last week, where I likened Christmas to weddings and I am going to blame her now for this blog - she encouraged me to share this and I must admit I did get a little carried away since she said that - cos at the time it was all of one sentence.

It's a bit of fun - tongue partly in cheek, please do feel free to print these words, make changes and pass onto your significant other.

Warning - contains nuts and a few words of the swearing variety ... 

NB - any likeness to my ex or my friends is purely coincidental.

"Darling

Christmas reminds me of our wedding day,  in that so much work goes into one day; you invest so much energy, time, thought, planning and love into creating an amazing time for everyone  it may seem, like our wedding day, that I just turn up - put down my pint in the pub and head to meet you in church.

Like our wedding day,  I thought I had helped out. I had input into the seating plan and  made sure the best man and ushers had their suit fittings and yes I did find it stressful - you remember how hard it was to choose my best man, didn’t want to offend one of my best mates …

So when you started to get all stressie, and that one amazing flounce you had where you burnt all the ‘fucking invites’ I have to admit I didn’t really *get it*. I thought bloody hell, I’m stressed too!

And then, on the day of our wedding, everything seemed to flow, it was magic, magical, but it wasn’t magic was it? All those weeks and months where you invested so much energy, time, thought, planning and love into creating an amazing day … paid off .

All  of all of a sudden, I got it, by jove I got it! I got what you had been creating; the church, the flowers, the food,  where our guests could stay, the colour 'theme' - OK I did get involved with that one, but to be honest I did start to think,  its one bloody day darling and and what the hell are those shrouds covering the chairs in the reception hall?!

Darling,  what I am trying to say is that I have got complacent over the years, every year I think, "oh gawd it’s Christmas,  she’s got one on her again", cos like our weddingI forget just how much it means to you to look after everyone and make it a special day,  and every Christmas day its like WOW this is amazing and everything seems to flow … it’s magic .. magical … but it isn’t magic is it …

I know I’m a bit late to the party this year, so next year, maybe October or  November'ish lets go away to a spa, or a city break (or the pub!) and you can let me know what I can do, give me a list, cos I need it spelt out. I. I know I am not allowed near the tree decs ever again and I get that (tbh I don’t really get that but I do remember that year ‘treegate’, I call it where I had a go with the baubles – and you shouted ‘for fucks sake cant you see you can’t put those colours on the tree together’ – since then I do give the tree a wide berth in case I move a branch ..

No I am not just saying this cos I’d like a shag before March next year .. although I did read that research that men who do 50% of housework etc get more sex …. So ….. darling …."

Getting a J.O.B. is an investment not a sign of failure

business-money-pink-coinsDoes getting a J.O.B. mean you are a failure as an entrepreneur and business owner?

Twice a month I run group coaching and mentoring calls in the WOBS Plus Coaching and Mentoring and members can drop in at any time during the 90 minute sessions to ask for help on any topic in their business and this week was no exception with the variety of topics:

  • Self Value
  • Client boundaries
  • Creating a ring bound workbook and music DVD
  • Garage Band (music creation software)
  • and the stigma around getting a J.O.B – which is the topic of todays brief post.

Continue reading

Can’t Sleep Won’t Sleep! – Night Sweats and Active Brain!

Mature woman with insomniaIt’s been going on for a few months now, the waking up at 3am or 4am, having a night sweat- well I am 53 years old, so what can I expect?!
Well I did expect to be able to get back to sleep again! But no, I wake up, almost throw myself out into the frosty night to cool down my “menopausal midnighters” and then stay awake for hours!

You can imagine, a few months of this can take it’s toll, so I thought I know what I’ll put a help request into the WOBS Club forum:
sleep question screen capture

I’m sharing this for 2 reasons; firstly there may be many other women out there who face the same nightly challenge and the info posted by the members of WOBS Club was amazing and I am trying a few out and secondly I wanted to demonstrate just how wonderful the WOBS Club members are.

So, without further ado here are some of the tips I received in the 29 responses:

1. “Exercise 2 in this link  it really helps – only tried it one night myself so far but would definitely recommend it!” http://www.drweil.com/…/three-breathing-exercises.html

2. What time are you going to bed? What time are you waking? What are you doing before you go to bed? (I mean are you working;-) or reading in bed ) And what are you eating last thing at night? First thing that comes to mind is if you can massage your feet before bed that helps – coconut oil will cool your system. I am an Ayurvedic Practitioner btw. Will come back to this thread later this afternoon. Nadi shodhana is good for hormonal regulation, my short blog may help How-to-Easily-Breathe-in-Health-and-Vitality  

3. Guided meditations work for me. I know I’m totally missing the point but there are a couple of people with such soothing voices that I struggle to stay awake when I genuinely am trying to meditate so I use them as sleep aids too. My personal faves for sending me to sleep (in the best possible way) are Bodipaksa of WildMind.org and Tara Brach who has loads of stuff on YouTube.

4. I used to suffer from lack of sleep and overactive brain in the night. Since taking some natural supplements that enable me to have peak energy during the day and detox my body during the night, I need less sleep but I sleep so well and deeply that I feel so refreshed when the alarm goes. It is incredible but I love it and would recommend it to everybody. It is just a question of rebalancing your energy levels, as unfortunately at “our age” (I suppose we are around the same age) everything goes out of balance! Let me know if you want to know more.

5. Sympathy Claire; it’s especially hard when you run your own business and have to get up get ready and present yourself to the world bright eyed and bouncing every morning. When I went through the mp I decided to do hard time (no hormone repl) and the best tip I was given – and it did help – was to accept it, go with it and not fight it. It’s a bit like going to the dentist – there really does come a time when the awfulness is over – focus on that

6. I use guided meditations which I know is missing the point but if I’m trying to sleep they do help. I find Bodipaksa and Tara Brach have particularly soothing voices, and I do use them for their intended purpose too!

7. Wow Claire some amazing advice and probably need to do a bit of all of it. There are some fantastic herbal supplements out there too that would be worth trying as well as good sleep hygiene and eating ‘sleepy’ foods before bed. But I think this what Lorraine is able to help with. Xx

8.  Quick brain dump Claire, hope these help

1. Ideally go to bed at the same time each night, your body loves routine.
2. Keep temperature around 18-19⁰C in your bedroom
3. Keep the bedroom completely dark, any light stimulates our pineal gland in the brain to think it is waking time
4. Incorporate exercise into your daily routine – brisk walk is fine
5. Keep your bedroom for sleep & sex only
6. Have a no-tech zone at LEAST one hour before retiring – mobiles, laptops, anything with a screen (these should not be used in a bedroom anyway)
7. Your melatonin (sleep hormone) starts secreting at 9pm, this is prime time to start winding down, difficult if you work late in to the evening
8. Don’t use your mobile as an alarm clock – the EMFs (electro magnetic frequencies) are circulating around your head as you sleep (or don’t sleep as the case may be)
9. Don’t eat a large meal for at least 3 hours before retiring, otherwise your digestion is still wide awake and so are you!
10. Don’t use alcohol to get you to sleep, it may get you off to sleep but you will have a disturbed night
11. Have a small snack before bedtime – bananas, porridge, oat cakes are tryptophan-rich sleep inducing foods. Low blood sugar can sometimes wake you.
12. Eat magnesium-rich foods e.g. green leafy veg, nuts & seeds as this is the anti-stress mineral and a great natural sleep aid
13. Bath in magnesium salts (Epsom Salts) – add 2 cups to a hot bath and soak for at least 20 minutes
14. Keep a note pad by your bed, if you have thoughts that pop into your head, write them down and forget them
15. Meditation apps as mentioned by others are great
16. Lastly, aside menopause (which is a massive subject all of its own) many sleep issues are down to anxiety & restlessness, so try to deal with this at source.

9.  There is a well-known study of Mayan women who celebrate menopause as their community sees them as wiser and respected, it’s a massive revered social status. Consequently, they have few, if not, no menopausal symptoms. Sadly, it is not the same here, however, it’s a great take home message to accept that menopause is a natural transition to be supported not a disease that needs to be treated.

10. There a large number of bach flower remedies which can help with this – please pm me if I can help – they truly work wonders and I have used them for many of my cliennts – do give me a shout – it would be great to help

11.  I haven’t read all the comments but can so relate. My doctor didn’t belive me but it was menopause. after I got that taken care of I sleep again!!! (I was so down I took hormones and every day was worth it) until I discovered a herbal mix that works wonderfully. Sold in EU and US. pm if you are interested.

12. Work with it, and make it work for you – I have a sleep cycle more like the one described here and have to manage energy particularly ensuring that enough rest breaks are taken in the day if things are busy – a mid afternoon meditation is not uncommon! Since reading this article I stress less about a broken nights’ sleep …http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16964783

13. Minerals play a massive part in balancing hormones & helping to promote restful sleep & we just don’t get enough from our diets. Sizzling Minerals are an amazing, natural plant based mineral supplement. Certainly relieved my severe PMS, i sleep like a baby & wake refreshed. Would be happy to provide more info & free sample. I agree meditation is a great help too!!! Good luck!

14. lavender and rescue remedy night.

15. This supplement plus Aloe Vera gel every day can help to settle down the hormone swings and let you sleep better (Vitolize Women)

16. take a look at The antiestrogen diet Book

17. My cd sends lots of clients to sleep! ABC angelic lifestyle & mp3, lots tips, lavender on pillow… Sometimes (not every night!) we need that nighttime inspiration if we aren’t listening enough in day (occasionally happens to me!) http://www.angeliclifestyle.com/index.php/testimonials

18. Also my Pilates beach relaxation sends lots clients to sleep – 5 minutes long. I will record a free you tube one soon & send to you… It’s also on the 1-7 minute lazy Pilates workout

19. Many clients of mine in last 16 years have found Pilates aids sleep! (They never turn up to class for this benefit!!!!)…

20.  I love it when a ‘post’ like yours Claire, invites so much enthusiasm and infectious ideas. Sleep, or lack of, has a massive effect on our lives. You have lots of options now Mrs Godwin and I hope you find an answer. I know you are a qualified hypnotherapist – so you will know how effective the therapy can be – if you would like me to help you work on this – I would be more than happy to help. www.jansullivanhypnotherapy.co.uk

21. Definitely minerals www.homeoforce.co.uk and vitamins, vitolize as mentioned above makes a huge difference for me.Www.aloehealth4u.co.uk.

22. Work with your body clock ( same time every to bed every night and up every morning) – do this breathing exercise over and over : breathe in count of 4, hold for count of 7, breathe out count of 8 xxxxxxx www.FreyaBlom.com

23.  I sleep with a Magnetix power heart under my pillow and I sleep much better. I also put NYR Organic’s Night Time oil on my sheet so I can breathe in the soporific oils, they relax me and get me to sleep.

24.  I was introduced to mindfulness whilst having CBT and have found that really useful for “switching off” before bed. Get occasional periods of insomnia and use this instead of worrying why I’m awake. I’ve even been to the nearest buddhist centre to start learning about meditation and at my first class I was almost asleep I was sooooo relaxed.

25. Here are 7 steps for a restful sleep from Louisa Pini

So thats one post asking for help and ideas and what an amazing response within minutes.

If you are a  woman running a Micro Business (0 to 1o employees) how do you tap into such amazing business and well-being support?

Our WOBS members use our Facebook group as a major part of their support and advice networks – and you too, can benefit from that help and support, by taking out a free one-month trial. Find out more & get your first month free.

Honestly, girls! I’m in a few female business women support groups, but WOBS are the very best! HIGHLY recommended. The support is fabulous and a great bunch of awesome women. L Adamson-Brown

7 (ish) Top Tips to Keep Your Energy UP

Julie Weston

Julie Weston

Christmas can of course be fabulous but it can also be draining, so I asked Julie Weston, a qualified Nutritional Therapist with her business – Natural Vitality ) to write a blog on how to keep our energy up this time of year and this is what she said:

“With demanding lifestyles many women over 40 complain of low energy and fatigue. This might be due to an underlying health condition but could also be down to poor food choices these suggestions may help you to stay upbeat throughout your busy day!”

  • Don’t skip breakfast!
  • Avoid sugary breakfast cereals – opt instead for something with protein to sustain you for longer. Adding nuts/seeds to porridge, choosing a nut based, low fruit/no added sugar muesli or introducing eggs at breakfast eg. buckwheat pancakes, omelettes or the humble boiled egg.
  • Drink plenty of water – an old but efficient tip to help you stay energised.
  • Snack if you feel a low ebb but try and ensure your breakfast is satisfying enough to last till lunch….if you do snack add some protein eg. carrot and houmous, apple and nuts or rice cake and nut butter.
  • Try to limit caffeine – no need to give it up, both coffee and tea offer health benefits but try and work out how it makes you feel – if it gives you a definite kick then be prepared for a come down! It is a stimulant so be mindful!
  • Exercise – Don’t sit for too long (sitting is the new smoking!!) Get up shake your booty – run the stairs – have a stretch – play with the dog and return to your desk!
  • Consider a high quality multi-vitamin, ideally specific to women, particularly if you are approaching or in the menopause. The soils are depleted of many essential minerals we require to maintain energy levels so however well we eat it is likely we need an extra boost. Some high-quality brands are www.biocare.co.uk and www.nutri.co.uk. You may need a practitioner code to order direct which I can supply or look for these products on amazon.

Buckwheat Pancakes

buckwheat pancakes

Ingredients Serves  4-6
225g (8oz) Buckwheat flour
1 tsp gluten free baking powder
475ml rice, almond or dairy milk or 275ml milk and 200ml water
pinch salt
1 large egg
1-2 tbsp butter or coconut oil

  1. Mix together the dry ingredients in a bowl.
  2. In another bowl whisk together the milk, water and egg.
  3. Gradually poor the egg mixture into the dry ingredients, whisking constantly as you do to form a smooth batter. It should be quite thin but gloopy!
  4. Heat a frying pan, brush the base and sides with a knob of butter or coconut oil then ladle a little of the pancake mix into the pan to make a thin pancake.
  5. Fry for 2-3 mins, then toss or turn the pancake and cook the other side. I find the first one is often almost a test – they get better!
  6. Serve with berries, seeds, yoghurt and/or a dash of maple syrup.

Buckwheat Flour
This wheat and gluten free flour is related to the rhubarb family and despite its name is not a grain at all but a fruit seed!
It is a great for those who have problems digesting wheat because it is easily digestible. Energising and nutritious it is a great alternative to porridge but particularly good for pancakes and scones because of its nutty and sweet flavour.
Buckwheat has been linked to a lowered risk of developing high cholesterol and high blood pressure. It is also great for blood sugar control due to its low glycemic index (as long as you don’t cover it in sugar after you have made the pancake!!).

Julie is a valued member of the WOBS Business Training Academy more info and to join click here

Want to try us out for free then join WOBS On-Line the Free Mentoring Group for Women in Business below:

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