“As soon as I look at social media I feel low. And it’s not looking at my friend’s holiday snaps that do it. It’s all the biz related stuff. I am bombarded by people / ads all telling me how to be successful and how successful they are. It brings up feelings of not being enough, of failing. I know the simple solution is to not check social media but I have these same feelings when I’m in work mode. Yet I know social media is an integral part of my business. I can tell myself a million times over not to compare but I can’t help it. It just happens.
Tips on dealing with this please. I can’t not be on social media but how do I manage the negative feelings it brings up in me?”
Be more strategic
- unlike pages
- unfollow people who annoy you!
- leave groups – no value to you? then leave! one member said “I took a look at my group memberships at the end of last year. I left some behind and put the ones I want to take part in on my favourites list. I love the groups I’m part of. I feel I am loyal to them, leaders and members and try my best to be there for each of them. I purposefully keep my main groups to a minimum. They each serve a purpose to me and my business”
- take up a craft that you can pick up and put down instead of turning to Facebook if you only have 10 minutes to spare – be mindful in your quiet moments rather than browsing fb mindlessly.
- Set yourself your own targets and compete against yourself ..small steps so you can see yourself in a positive ligh
Your thinking is just that – thinking!
What you are thinking is just that, thinking, it’s not your reality just a bunch of insecure ‘I should be’ thinking that you can just let go in the knowledge that it’s been brought on by this trigger. There will be lots of different triggers that take you in and out of that ‘confident’ OK, motivated space and minimising the ones that take you out and maximising the ones that bring you in is really key – it may be that having a clear purpose for being on social media, clear tasks etc instead of it being on is something worth considering. Also having an I’ve achieved list – a monthly list that you keep during the month where you recall all that you have achieved so that when the thoughts do seem a little more real – it’s there to remind you it’s just a bunch of crappy thinking and you are completely where you should be.
Start a journal
One member has Moomin journal “where I list all my daily achievements (tasks completed, people connected etc) & it’s very satisfying to flick through, and it’s so easy to forget just how much we DO and it’s a great biz-affirming tool + booster on the ‘low’ days x”
Activate your Bullshit radar!
Another member said what has helped her a lot is to realise that most of this stuff is – “pardon my French – total bullshit. I’m in contact with people who are doing well from internet marketing and who share what it’s really like. Those people who brag about 6 figure businesses in Facebook ads are often paying out well over 50% to affiliates, designers, copywriters etc. If they were honest about the actual profit they make it would be a very different story. There are some genuine people out there, of course. But a lot of what you see is smoke and mirrors”
Explore what you love about social media
Take some time out to explore what it is you really want from social media. What do you really love about it? For one member that is “connection”, “staying in touch with friends and family who I don’t live near, connecting with other biz women so I don’t feel so isolated, sharing news of my family which is really important to me with people I’m fond of, expressing my thoughts and feelings, staying up to date with current affairs”..
Be careful not to compare others outsides to your insides or something like that!
Take time to reflect what is really going on for you
Leave groups and “unfollow” people who provoke this reaction in you. Sit quietly with yourself and understand what’s behind the reaction. It may be that if you are sometimes ruthlessly honest with yourself that your reaction may be because there is an action that you yourself haven’t taken or feel behind on. Do something constructive towards that, rather than fretting about FB. It may be that sponsored ads for events are triggering you because you haven’t booked your own yet or something similar. So take ownership back.
Know and celebrate your strengths
Know your strengths – know what makes you different – know your values and what matters to you and more importantly who are the correct role models to follow – sometimes the people who push our buttons have different values and yes they are people I would unfriend or not follow.
For managing negative feelings expressing them is a good start but I highly recommend Byron Katie’s The Work for working through them.
… and finally a Video recommendation from a WOBS member
“Whenever I feel a bit pants I watch this video called You Can Be Enough – it is fantastic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJ4ykAICJPU 🙂
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